I was sitting and watching a wrestling program a while back and the commentators started talking about how the winner has overcome such adversity due to his earlier “rib injury”. This started me down a thought process rabbit hole about how people are praised for making it through the pain of an injury and how that greatly contrasts to what a fibromyalgia patient, or really any chronic illness patient, is treated.
When you heal after a surgery, you’re praised for your strength and congratulated for making it through. Those who ‘defeat’ illnesses are celebrated. You’re back to ‘normal’ and that’s great. The praises are absolutely deserved. Being ill or injured sucks and you have to fight to get back to your normal self. It’s tough and the sense of relief when you overcome it is great. Getting that praise from others not only helps push you to keep going, but helps your self esteem once you’ve made it.
So why don’t we praise those with chronic pain for overcoming the pain? Some days, just taking a shower and making it to the pharmacy to get medicine is enough. Other days we push through the pain to make it to our jobs, make dinner, clean the house, and make sure everyone else is taken care of. We fight ourselves just to do what is expected of us. We have excruciating days and nights, but keep pushing ourselves forward. Some people may have great support systems that vocalize their praise, but it seems the vast majority does not.
Is it because our pain doesn’t end? Is it because you can’t see it? Why does our continued struggle not deserve praise? We push ourselves to try to appear ‘normal’, but don’t receive the encouragement to keep doing it. We hear the crude comments when we stop trying, that’s for sure. Do we hide it too much? Can you not tell what’s really going on? I know I’ve gotten in the habit of not discussing my health too publicly because people don’t know what to say and seem uncomfortable. A lot of the times people just don’t understand.
We cannot get rid of our pain. There is no healing it. We have no cure. And that is not because we are weak. When we keep living our lives, that shows that we are strong. Every day that we make it to work is a show of strength. Every grocery trip. Every shower. Every load of laundry.
You may not understand the pain, but know that it is there. We may not vocalize every pain and ache, but that does not mean we do not feel it. If you know someone struggling with chronic pain or a chronic illness, take the time to recognize that. Recognize their strength. Recognize that they’re fighting. Praise them.
You can't count spoons when you're young. 