When can I say no?

Brain fog.  Leg pain.  Intense anxiety about how to juggle my life and work full time on second shift. 
Do I get to say no?  Do I get to have a break?  How can I somehow get some relief before having a complete breakdown?
I’ve felt like a complete idiot for the last few years as my brain fog seems to get worse and worse.  I’m only 24, so I can’t tell people that and have them believe me.  My job is absolutely affected and I don’t know what to do.
Physically I can handle my pain about 70% of the time.  I guess 100% of the time because I never let it be an excuse.  It’s easier that way.
My hormones are out of whack.  There’s no solution for sleeping.  Everything feels like a mess.  I feel hopeless.
Unless I have a complete meltdown, I don’t see a way of anything happening to help.
Maybe if I was older.  Or had a limp.  Or something people could actually see. 
I don’t know what to do.

Shortened rant…  and I don’t feel good about posting this…


3 thoughts on “When can I say no?

  1. Ashley, does your employer offer FMLA or an abbreviated schedule? It’s not a perfect solution, but it certainly helps on those days when the pain gets to be too much. I was able to qualify for FMLA due to my chronic migraines, you just have to have your doctor fill out some paperwork and then you can at least call off when necessary without fear of being fired. I sure hope you start to feel at least a bit more positive soon. Cyber hugs!

    • Work is a complicated mess right now and I’m not sure if my doctor would support it. I would give anything to shave a couple hours of my work day though. I think it would improve things greatly.
      I’ll definitely be looking into it though, I had no idea that option was available! Thanks so much!!

  2. I did the same thing…I didn’t say no for along time. Then in 2008 I had a complete psychological breakdown….full on panic attack. I thought I was losing my mind. I haven’t recovered since then. It’s been pretty much all downhill. If I could recommend anything, it would be, please don’t wait till you have a breakdown. It’s something no one should have to experience. Your health and wellbeing is worth whatever you have to to to stay balanced. ❤️❤️

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