My long mild flare of hell…

So I don’t know what it is, but I have not felt quite right lately.  Ever since my schedule got jumbled up due to coworkers taking their vacations I just have been off.  I honestly hadn’t felt awful for an extended period of time in quite a while.  My knee would hurt, my feet would throb, my head would feel it was going to burst.  My ovary felt like it wanted to jump out of my body, my back muscles kept contracting, and my random faint chest pains came back.

It’s been ok though.  I get just enough time off to be able to handle it all.  The end of the night is awful, but I feel alright enough in the morning.  It’s all good.

Well, last week I started getting to the point where I thought I was going to start having panic attacks.  Needless to say, I thought this was the best time to take a little time off from work.  I had my weekend, worked a day, had a day off, worked a couple more, then had 5 days off.  It’s been glorious, but I’m still worried.  

I had a couple of incidents a while back where I developed a blind spot in my vision, like some one blinded me with a really bright light.  It would fade in, stay for about a half an hour and then fade out.  The docs said no big deal, probably a migraine.  Well, similar, less extreme incidents like that have been happening just about every day for the last couple weeks.  My memory has really gone to shit.  Like no joke.  I’m usually awesome at remembering everything.  I make it a point to be overly prepared for things.  I have completely dropped the ball a million times it feels like in the last week or so.  I’ve also been feeling a bit manic.  Like, I just randomly get all this energy built up out of nowhere and I usually never have energy.

Should I go to the doctor?  Nah, what good would that do me?  That never seems to fix anything ever.  I felt so sick over the weekend I seriously thought that I’d have to go to the hospital.  Thankfully my fiance got me out of the apartment, moving, eating, drinking and I ended up feeling better for the majority of the day.

But really, where am I supposed to turn when it seems like there’s no helping my issues?  Since I started this journey, the only that has ever been ran by these docs that came back with a result was my A1c (had a hypoglycemic phase) and my Vitamin D.  How am I supposed to tell when something is actually wrong with me when every time I develop a new symptom they just toss my ever growing pile of symptoms and say that there’s nothing wrong?


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