Medication – A necessary evil

I’ve been constantly on some sort of medicine since I was 13.  That makes it 10 years thus far.  That seems absolutely ridiculous…  At one point I had a huge pill organizer, like you would see an 80 year old with.  And I honestly couldn’t even tell you what all I have been on; doctors try everything to treat Fibromyalgia.

I think the most frustrating problem that I have with all these medications is that I’ll find one that works for a minute and then it suddenly stops working or the side effects start kicking in.  I tried Lyrica, you know, that medicine you always used to see commercials for that was specifically for Fibromyalgia.  I didn’t do so well on that.  I was afraid to take it in the first place because I heard of all the horror stories about peoples’ faces swelling up like crazy.  I wasn’t so unlucky, it just raised my blood pressure so there was another medication I had to take and it just wasn’t worth the trouble.  The point is the same though, all the medications end up sucking.

I remember a couple years ago that I got so excited because I was finally back down to one pill a day.  I think that lasted maybe a year…  Maybe.  I felt so free.  How silly of me to think that would last.  I think I actually thought the pain just wasn’t there anymore.  Now I’m back up to taking 8 medications.  Shit, I back peddled.

Sometimes I feel bad about it.  I mean, it’s expensive and I’m putting all this shit in my body.  I had a “friend” that basically told me that I’m a druggie because of all the medicine I’m on.  Let’s just go ahead and point out the obvious fact that they are a totally ignorant douche.  Anyways, that makes me not feel bad anymore because fuck that thinking.  Seriously.  I’m just trying to feel normal like everyone else.  I’m not spending all this money to feel amazing, I just want to feel normal.

In conclusion, all the medication is journey in itself when it comes to dealing with chronic illnesses.  It’s awful, but when it works out it’s great.  People will make awful judgements, but let’s see how they act if they had to deal with this.  Don’t feel bad and don’t get discouraged, you’re just trying to feel normal.

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