What’s with the blog title?

You can’t count spoon when you’re young.

Society can’t accept it, you know?  I was in high school when I was diagnosed.  That gave me a reason to finally be able to tell people ‘Hey, I can’t do everything, there’s actually something wrong with me.’  It may have gave me reason, but no one wants to listen to that, not to mention a lot of people don’t even think Fibromyalgia is a real thing.

Right now I do pretty okay from day to day.  I work, I come home, sometimes I try to clean, sometimes I don’t.  Some nights though, especially when I work weekends, all I want to do is cry because my legs and my back just hurt so bad.  People hear this and think I’m just being overdramatic.  ‘All these other people can do the job just fine and they don’t complain.’  Well, what am I supposed to say to that?  I’m a 50 year old trapped in a 23  year old’s body.  Good luck trying to get anyone to take that  seriously.

So there ya go.  People won’t let you use Fibromyalgia as an excuse when you’re young.  You’re young; you have all the energy, you can go on 3 hrs of sleep just fine, you can work hard and it won’t even effect you.  Man I wish.  I try it all anyways because no one wants to hear that it takes a big toll on me, it obviously takes a bigger toll on older people because… why do we have this preconception again?  I don’t even get it.

Maybe if I had to walk with a cane or had to use something that people could see it would change how people see it.  Honestly, I’ve had to use a knee support before and I just wanted to hide it.  Crazy isn’t it?  Here’s something material that people can see, but I want to hide it because I’m scared people with think I’m faking that too along with everything else.

In high school I used pain-relieving patches like Salonpas and once… ONCE I tried Icy Hot.  I went to my first class, sat down, waited for the teacher…  I sat between the metal heads and the jocks.  After about 15 minutes all of the jocks started asking eachother if they were using Icy Hot.  I was so embarrassed.  I didn’t say anything.  I even did the sprays that smelled like peppermint and were supposed to help, but you can’t just run around smelling like peppermint.  That’s not normal and everyone knows and wants to know why.  It’s just a big hassle.

Anyways, I digress…  I thought the name was actually kind of perfect for my life when it comes to dealing with this.

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